ITS WEDNESDAY,HUMP DAY,AND,INDEED IT IS.FOR ME ITS .WOW I GOT THRU HALF OF A WEEK....WITH NO MAJOR ...BREAKDOWNS! HOWEVER I WENT TO MY SUPPORT GROUP ..AND ...ITS A GREAT THING.ITS A SAFE PLACE...THE PEOPLE THERE ARE ...HAVE SIMILAR ISSUES AS YOURSELF...AND YOU ..,I CAN LET MY GUARD DOWN...I CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE...BEING ME..I CAN BE COMFORTABL CRYING,SHARING MY PROBLEMS AND ALL WILL LISTEN ALL WILL CARE....
AND,//ITS JUST THAT THEY CAN RELATE AND UNDEDRSTAND CAUSE ,,THEY HAVE BEEN THERE OR THEY ARE DEALING WITH IT NOW .
..BUT..IT FEELS GOOD TO BE THERE CAUSE FOR NOW ..UR NOT BEING....WHO UR NOT YOU ARE NOT LYING .....YOU DONT WALK ON EGGSHAELLS...THEY ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.. MANY TIMES I HIDE MY TRUE FEELINGS ....PUT ON THE ...SMILE WHEN DEEP INSIDE YOUR CRYING....YOU WEAR THAT MASK...FOR SHOW...THE MOTHER MASK WORKER MASK FRIEND MASK ETC ETC....BUT ...I SHOULDNT HAVE TO WEAR MASK ,,A DISGUISE ,,BUT I DO!!!!
....FOR YEARS I LIED TO EVERYONE BUT MORE IMPORTANT I LIED TO MYSELF ...I WAS TRYING TO BE SOMEON E I AM NOT ..I WAS TRYING TO BE THAT STRONG ..PERSON
I LIED BOUT MY DAD MY MOM...MADE THEM OUT TO BE PEOPLE I WANTED THEM TO BE..THE CLEAVER FAMILY...I WANTED TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.....
BUT..ACTUALLY NO FAMILY IS ..PERFECT...MOST FAMILIES ARE DYSFUNCTIONAL.
I DIDNT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW BOUT GOOD OLD DADS DRINKING PROBLEM OR GOOD OLD DADS ..SLEEPING IN MY BED....SO I MADE MY OWN FAIRY TALE...STORY ..TO MAKE ME FELL GOOD...WELL,THATS IN THE PAST AND SOMEHOW..ILL EVENTAULLY WORK THRU IT ALL SIFT THRU IT ALL
AND I LL JUST LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME
REMEMBER THE LOVE YOU TAKE IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE